Imperialustikkka
I am from Dumdassia, a small province in the country of Imperialustikkka. In Dumbassia people are mostly good, however they spend much time ignoring the obvious truths and concockting reasons for why their country is so fouled up. Here is what happened:
Recently while dancing under the influence of a date rape drug given to me by an opportunistic arms dealer I slipped on a spilled drink, fell and banged my head. When I awoke amid the confusion, my head was momentarily devoid of almost all I had ever learned, and therefore I had a revelation! For the first time ever I saw, truly saw, like a splinteringly bright diamond of light had been nailed into my third eye that:
I am from Dumdassia, a small province in the country of Imperialustikkka…
and while I was born here, and brought up here, I am not guilty for the things I have done while in the Imperialustika Navy no matter how horrific those things were, but I am sure responsible for my part in it.
For the first time I could really see the cause and effect relationship between my addiction to muscle cars with bad gas milage, films that depict violence against women, cheap imported goods like the leisure suit I was wearing, fast foods, and many of the ills that society was facing! It’s what they call ironic that we were invading chakkachakkastan for cheap oil when my car gets 10 MPG! I killed for my car. It’s a killer car!
Then it really hit me. I mean I could actually see how my behaviour added to the creation of Walmart! Clinton! Trump! Pence! UFOs! Starbucks! Bill Burr! Ali Wong!
Shit! Now What?
At that point I puked and passed out…
